in association with Smilemore, Inc.
In no particular order:
Valerie: I don't have anything to do.
A sobering thought: What if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?
Valerie - alive, occupying space, and exerting gravitational force.
WARNING: Excessive speed may cause health problems, such as increased mass.
Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
A toy cat is a mouse. A toy mouse is a Hydrogen atom. - Scott, on why there are toy dogs, but not toy cats
Time's fun when you're having
flies.
Dan: OMG! Russia invaded Georgia! I hope Dragon*Con is still on!
Valerie: I think it's a different Georgia. I don't much feel like invading anything today. I'm glad Russia has found something to do.
-Kermit
the Frog
The difference between "involvement" and "commitment" is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved'; the pig was 'commited'!
One of the symptoms of approaching
a nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."
-Bertrand
Russell
We are not retreating- we
are advancing in another direction.
-General
Douglas MacArthur
Worry is as useful as a handle
on a snowball.
-unknown
I have not failed. I've just
found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-Thomas
Edison
In the beginning the Universe
was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely
regarded as a bad move.
-Douglas
Adams, Hitchhikers'
Laugh it up, fuzzball.
-Han
Solo, Star Wars
I have a boyfriend who malfunctions.
-Captain
Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Statistics show that every two minutes another statistic is created.
What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over,
5 out of 4 people don't understand fractions
When people run around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbiting.
Efficiency is doing the job right. Effectiveness is doing the right job right.
Management is the delicate art of keeping those who hate you away from those who are undecided.
I love sleep. My life has
a tendancy to fall apart when I'm awake.
-Ernest Hemmingway
Theory is when you know how it works but it still doesn't. Practice is when it works, but you don't know why. In my department, theory and practice are joined-- nothing works and no one knows why.
A bar walks into a man-- oops, wrong reference frame...
Where, oh where has my sanity gone? Your education is what's left over after you've forgotten all the facts. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the more you have, the longer you live.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
(Of the British): Ruling the waves and waiving the rules.
Too weak to fight, too poor to bribe.
War, he said bitterly to the sky, was a makeshift created because ordinary processes could not furnish deaths enough. It's nice to have friends, but it's even nicer to have rich friends.
It's amazing what you can see when the sun shines in just the right way.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you don't care who gets the credit. Silence is golden. If you don't talk about it, you can't fight about it.
Cosmologists are usually wrong, but seldom in doubt.
Where, oh where could it be?
-Amy Mikles
-Mark Twain
-S. Crane, Red Badge of Courage
-Ronald Reagan