...by Valerie Mikles, with apologies to C. C. Moore, "Twas the night before Christmas"
Twas the month before Christmas and late in the night
Steve's students broke in to hang up some lights.
The stockings were hung by the fake fireplace
While neutrinos rained down on us from outer space.
The grad students worked until late in the night
While their boss snoozed soundly on his transatlantic flight.
And Dave drinking coffee, Michelle in her chair,
And all of us stressing and tugging our hair...
When out from the printer there arose such a ruckus
So normal, I shrugged and stayed right on my tuchus.
As grad students clustered about dept to grouse,
I opened a window with a click of the mouse.
An e-mail to admin, the problem'd allay,
But late as it was, there'd be no help today.
We worked until morning when who should appear
But Steve, looking sleepy, and holding a beer!
His bleary-eyed smile was so tickled pink,
I didn't think for a moment it was his first drink!
With a yawn and a stretch, he met with the SCRUM
Who hadn't seen him for so long, he knew they would come!
"Now Reba, now Valerie, now Dave, and Michelle!
Come Curtis, come Mark, you talk first Miguel!
I see from your eyes you all have been stressed,
But no need to fret! Your boss is the best!"
As the dry leaves that before wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle, mount in the sky,
Across the SCRUM meeting, new plots were passed,
Some were immaculate, some were half-assed.
And then in a minute, Steve's phone did chime.
Though usually his wife, it wasn't this time.
As I shuffled my notebook and tapped with my pen
And thought about breaking that phone yet again,
I noticed Steve smile, though not drink induced
And I wondered if maybe he was getting good news!
A bundle of wires he grabbed from the floor,
He sprung to his feet and ran out the doors!
His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry!
He twittered and sang just like a canary!
His jubilant manner was far from bizarre,
In a minute I knew he'd break out a cigar!
He ran to the printer, and then with a twist
Returned with a paper now clenched in his fist!
With a smile so broad it could fall off his face,
He looked like a lawyer just winning a case!
Incoherent, triumphant, he passed round the booze
And we all waited eagerly, wanting the news.
A wink of his eye and a twitch of his cheek
Made me realize he was simply too happy to speak.
He spoke not a word as he lit up the leaf
Which set off the fire alarm! "Oh, good grief!"
We ran from the building and into the street
And Steve tottered slowly atop of his feet.
Giddy and blue, Steve fell to the ground
And mildly concerned, we all gathered round.
Then starting to rise from his mixed crazy state
Steve shouted "We've got funding! Now let's celebrate!"